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Dysphoria - Rukas - (Chogaia Understands) - Prod Vtz - (Mastered)

from APPRENTICE TO THE WORD (Episode 2) - (2010) by Rukas

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about

OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO BELOW;


youtu.be/Gybq40kXA8o

Plot;

A woman sitting alone in her room, surrounded by darkness. She has been isolated from society for an extended period due to various circumstances. Her life has become monotonous and devoid of meaningful connections. She feels a deep sense of loneliness and despair, as if there is no hope left in the world.

The woman's mind is filled with negative thoughts and emotions, leading to feelings of object sorrow and dysphoria. She struggles to find purpose or joy in anything, and the days seem to blend together into an endless cycle of emptiness.

The woman's physical and mental health have deteriorated as a result of her isolation. She has lost interest in activities that once brought her joy, and her thoughts are consumed by darkness and despair. The woman feels as if she is trapped in her own mind, unable to escape the cycle of suffering.

In order to cope with her emotions, the woman tries to distract herself with various activities. She reads books, watches movies, and even tries to engage in hobbies, but nothing seems to lift the heavy weight of her depression. The woman wonders if she will ever find happiness again or if she is destined to remain trapped in her own mind, forever lost in a sea of sorrow.

(For Chogaia...who understands)

ALONE IN THE NIGHT STOPPED LOOKING FOR THE LIGHT
SWITCH IN THE DARK ROOM I CALL MY LIFE

lyrics

_________________________

Lyrics;

DYSPHORIA

Hook

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Verse 1

Yeah, where will I call my home?
It hurts more to smile in front, of everyone than to cry all alone
I’m tired of trying, sick of crying,
I know I’ve been smiling, but inside I’m dying
You say I’m always happy, and that I’m good at what I do,
But what you'll never realize, I’m a good actress too.
Death is god's way of saying you're fired but sh*t
Suicide is my way of saying I can't be fired I quit
Hurting so much inside and yes
It's eating me alive one day there won't be any of me left
I don't know if I’m getting better used to the pain
Will it never let up? Who’s to blame?
I hate what I have become to escape, what I hate being
Sleep in the day, to the late evening
ALONE IN THE NIGHT STOPPED LOOKING FOR THE LIGHT
SWITCH IN THE DARK ROOM I CALL MY LIFE

Hook

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Verse 2

Stuck in a rut and bugging, loving drug in-duced f*cking
But not like cutting, nothing is like cutting
First time I cut was kind a strange
Didn’t feel no pain, the same, nutin changed
Take the blade run it gently down my skin
It cuts deeper in, lemme drown my sin
The blood wells out slowly runs down my arm
Then it stops and then the pain goes away and then I’m calm
How you hurt yourself on the outside
All to try to kill the, thing in the inside.
An when I’m hurting inside, no one on my side,
Thats when I’m knowing I could die that’s when I’m knowing I’m alive
A 5 year old asks "mommy, why do you have all those pink scars
On your arm?" think fast..
THERE'S A GIRL IN MY MIRROR AND SHES CRYING THROUGH THE NIGHT
AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN SAY TO MAKE HER FEEL ALRIGHT..

Hook

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Verse 3

I used to have many faults, now I’ve only two
Everything I say, and everything I do
I drank too much hurt everyone I ever touched
Never loved so if I die well who would give a f*ck!?
Angry at my father, where’s he at? Leave him there?
It’s me against the world ma and he don't even care
To scroll through all the numbers in your phone,
And realize that there's no one you can call understand alone
Sit down, close your eyes invent your own little world?
When you were little you did, eyes open little girl
I’m often silent but screaming inside
“I’m okay” Ain't that what I’m supposed to say? Yeah right…
How can you hide from what never goes away?
Wake up more afraid to live no escape
YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME?
WELL I’M SCARED BECAUSE I DO, PERUKUKU MY ONLY FAMILY

Hook

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around
Don't Let Them Make You Touch The Ground
Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around

credits

from APPRENTICE TO THE WORD (Episode 2) - (2010), released January 2, 2010
Chogaia...for the inspiration...and being my unwitting muse heh heh

PROD VTZ
www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=445090
www.facebook.com/pages/VTZ/101596799885488?ref=ts&fref=ts

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Rukas Greater London, UK

"the offering of a rose basket I bear the widows cried

The coffin was a closed casket affair the lid closed tight

In every starving land there's a fat King

And every laughing man shares a sad grin"
... more

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